My Pain and Frustration

I want to vent. I want to let it all out. I am so hurt by someone who I thought loved me.

Over the past 11 months, since Makayla has been born a specific person has continually made comments to me about my parenting. Things like,

"she's cold"- ALL THE TIME. no matter how makayla is dressed.. she's cold! Then on saturday.. the comment, "So JUST because YOU'RE not cold it means SHE'S not cold?" She had a jacket on and we walked from the car to the front door! My response to that... "As her mother I made the decision and I'm ok with that decision". This is the first time I have responded her her nasty statements. She did apologize and admit that it was NONE of her business.

"no mush?" Questioning constantly why I am not giving her oatmeal every time I feed her. Um... hello! She needs to eat other stuff too!

"Don't make her stand up. She doesn't want to. YOU are going to make her bow-legged!". Um, my daughter has wanted to stand up since she was 4 months old. I asked her doctor about it at her 6 month check up and he wants her to strengthen her legs. This comment was made every time I saw her for MONTHS. I would never FORCE her to do something like that.

"Her head is lop sided. You need to put her on her back more".. Do you not understand that my daughter has acid reflex?? that the last time she was on her back she choked and wasn't breathing?! Do you realize that babies NEED tummy time?

Telling my daughter in front of me.. "you're SO spoiled". She's LOVED lady.. get over it!

When we moved, this person was helping. We put the baby to bed and she started to fuss a little as most babies do when they are transitioning into their own "living space". my husband and I both told this person, don't go in there and get her, let her be".. what did she do??? She ignored what we said and went in there and picked her up!

I had enough after saturday's comment and these things needed to be addressed. They arne't mentioned once, not twice, but OVER and OVER again. I got sick of it and I felt that it was only fair to let her know how these comments were effecting me, Afterall, she says she loves me, she will care about my feelings right? ....

Monday night I sat down for a talk with her. I calmly explained that i feel boundries are being crossed and expressed the issues I had and why I feel that I am sensitive to the constant commenting and in my eyes, criticism. What did she do? She YELLED at me, pointed her finger, ignored my feelings, and infact, didn't even consider them.. and then proceeded to go on and make it about HER feelings.. you know, because SHE is the victim in all of this right?? She went on to tell me that I took my daughter out of her carseat, held her up in the wind, for a LONG time (complete abuse and neglect.. and a LIE) just to spite her.... when what really happened is I took her out of the car seat, lifted her up, smiled and brought her down to my face to kiss her, then put her in her stroller. She is nearly 15 lbs.. holding her up for a long time??? Oh.. MY... gosh She then goes on to tell me that I didn't even have my daughter's jacket zipped when we came in the house.. ANOTHER LIE. I had to unzip the jacket to show her the shirt that she had on. It said, I'll always be daddy's little girl.. I thought she would think it was cute. If it was already unzipped, how could I unzip it to show her that??

I felt that my feelings weren't only unvalidated, they were dismissed and she did everything in her power to make me feel like crap.. well, she succeeded. I felt so verbally and emotionally attacked that I actually had to walk out of the house in order to feel that I was protecting myself from more emotional pain. One more thing to look at... this particular person never got along with her own mother, or her mother in law, or her daughters.. hmmmm.. take a look in the mirror maybe?? What is the common denominator? I have been so blind. I have been treated so badly. All that I wanted, was for her to understand how the comments make me feel, tell me she is so sorry for that, she won't do it anymore, and that she will make it better.. but no, the first thing I got was yelling and accusations.