Bryson's Arrival and Blessing Day

Ok, so I haven't blogged in over six months.. I'm a slacker.. I admit it. With that being said, Here's the update.

Bryson arrived on December 19th! 7 lbs 6 oz 19 in.

I took his new born pictures when he was a week old... He never looked "alien" like all squished up... he's such a handsome baby!

At Bryson's 2 wk check up he had gained 2 lbs and 2.5 inches and has been on this growth curve ever since!

Bryson was blessed on Feb. 6th. I took these pics on his blessing day before church.

We had family come into town for the blessing. Bryson was blessed by his daddy of course and it was so beautiful.

Our Little Man!

Our ultrasound went well today. Our little man is 1.5 lbs and is very healthy. A couple pictures I got today. I love the 3-D one. He looks just like his sister and daddy.

The video is still to come. I just can't get over his cute chubby cheeks and little button nose like his sister. My kids are too cute for words! Then again, every parent thinks that :)

House Hunting

With the news of a new baby coming, I'm in a panic. We have been looking for a home to buy for the past 2 months and still nothing. We got so close last night. We saw a house we fell in love with and immediately wanted to put the offer in. Right before we started the process our agent gets the news that a offer put in over the weekend was just accepted. What a bummer! I wanted to cry... ok, i did cry, but only because I'm super pregnant and super emotional and when your name is Tambra... you cry all the time when you're pregnant.. it's just a fact.

I'm so frustrated though. I know that when the right time comes and the right house comes, we'll get it. It's just so hard to get ready for a new baby when you don't have the space for him. I'm trying not to stress, I'm trying not to think about it, but come on.. seriously?? How can I NOT? grrrrrrr... is the only word that fits.

On a happier note.. Makayla had her 15 month checkup today. She is 17.5 lbs and 29 inches tall. She's on the same growth curve she has been on since birth and the doctor says just keep letting her eat and eat and eat. The great part?? Mentally, she is over-developed meaning that the doctor says that with the things she says, understands, and does, she appears to be a lot smarter than other kids her age. Go Kayla!! woot woot!!

We have an ultrasound for our little man tomorrow and get a video which I will post when I get it. I can't wait until this boy is out of me and in my arms instead. What an amazing day that will be!

A new addition to the family

Four weeks ago, we found out we are expecting a little boy on December 26th! Due to my "passion" about the christmas holiday, my doctor agreed to the baby coming a couple weeks early. We couldn't be more thrilled with the news although the day of his expected arrival threw me for a... let's just say I was "less than thrilled". Christmas should be spent singing christmas songs at the top of your lungs in the car, shower, or wherever you may be. It's about fighting crowds in every store you go into trying to find that "perfect" gift for those that you love. Eating pumpkin pie... or in my family's case, every kind of pie on earth, til you're sick. It's about sitting in your living room after everyone is asleep and just staring at the tree, all lit up, thinking about how blessed you are for the people you have in your life. For your family.. eventhough they might bug you sometimes. For your friends, eventhough some of them act like they don't care. For your kids, eventhough they make you want to pull your hair out some days and then make you wonder how you lived this long without them. Christmas should be about thinking about the savior and what he did for ALL of us. Thinking of all those people out there who don't have a tree, a gift, or a loved one and doing everything you can to help, not because you have to, but because you care. Christmas is about waking up early to that same tree you have stared at all those nights before, and in your pajamas, opening that gift with your family and being thankful they're yours. Christmas is about phone calls to those out of state, or getting a phone call from a missionary in a foreign country who couldn't be with you because they're devoting their heart and time to the lord so others can spend eternity with their families. Christmas is about snow falling children laughing and playing in it while you sip on your hot coco or apple cider. It's about carving a turkey and eating turkey sandwiches for the next 3 days. I love the sounds, smells, and even the chaos that comes with christmas... So, needless to say, I refused to spend it in the hospital.

Our little man's personality is already different than our little girl. When I was pregnant with Makayla she would kick, move, turn, etc as much as possible to the point that if she was still for more than 30 minutes, I would worry... is she ok? is she breathing? What's wrong with her? Our little boy is much different. I find myself wondering how he can be so content with just "laying around" all day. haha. If and when he moves, it becomes an exciting time for me. His idea of moving is much different than Makayla. He rolls, turns, stretches and has slight movements... not like the sudden thrusts and punches Makayla shared with me. Makayla is definitely like her mommy when it comes to her personality. She's sweet as can be, but don't make her mad. She's stubborn. She's loud, outgoing, and has a ton of energy, but when she's tired, back off and let her sleep. She's fiesty, but passionate... Our little man on the way.. laid back, easy going, mild.. Just like chad. I can't wait to explore his other personality traits as he arrives and grows.

Makayla is going to be an amazing big sister. We tell her to give her brother a love and she puts her head on my tummy and smiles. He couldn't ask for a big sister to love him more.

I have been worried about the jealousy factor coming into play when he arrives. The last thing I want is for my princess to feel like she comes second or that she isn't as important. I know I need to remember to have my special play time with only her but wonder how I am going to manage and balance it all. I guess when it comes down to it, I know I love my kids, and I'll do ANYTHING, within reason of course, to make them happy and I'll always make sure they have everything they need. Only time will tell I guess.

My Pain and Frustration

I want to vent. I want to let it all out. I am so hurt by someone who I thought loved me.

Over the past 11 months, since Makayla has been born a specific person has continually made comments to me about my parenting. Things like,

"she's cold"- ALL THE TIME. no matter how makayla is dressed.. she's cold! Then on saturday.. the comment, "So JUST because YOU'RE not cold it means SHE'S not cold?" She had a jacket on and we walked from the car to the front door! My response to that... "As her mother I made the decision and I'm ok with that decision". This is the first time I have responded her her nasty statements. She did apologize and admit that it was NONE of her business.

"no mush?" Questioning constantly why I am not giving her oatmeal every time I feed her. Um... hello! She needs to eat other stuff too!

"Don't make her stand up. She doesn't want to. YOU are going to make her bow-legged!". Um, my daughter has wanted to stand up since she was 4 months old. I asked her doctor about it at her 6 month check up and he wants her to strengthen her legs. This comment was made every time I saw her for MONTHS. I would never FORCE her to do something like that.

"Her head is lop sided. You need to put her on her back more".. Do you not understand that my daughter has acid reflex?? that the last time she was on her back she choked and wasn't breathing?! Do you realize that babies NEED tummy time?

Telling my daughter in front of me.. "you're SO spoiled". She's LOVED lady.. get over it!

When we moved, this person was helping. We put the baby to bed and she started to fuss a little as most babies do when they are transitioning into their own "living space". my husband and I both told this person, don't go in there and get her, let her be".. what did she do??? She ignored what we said and went in there and picked her up!

I had enough after saturday's comment and these things needed to be addressed. They arne't mentioned once, not twice, but OVER and OVER again. I got sick of it and I felt that it was only fair to let her know how these comments were effecting me, Afterall, she says she loves me, she will care about my feelings right? ....

Monday night I sat down for a talk with her. I calmly explained that i feel boundries are being crossed and expressed the issues I had and why I feel that I am sensitive to the constant commenting and in my eyes, criticism. What did she do? She YELLED at me, pointed her finger, ignored my feelings, and infact, didn't even consider them.. and then proceeded to go on and make it about HER feelings.. you know, because SHE is the victim in all of this right?? She went on to tell me that I took my daughter out of her carseat, held her up in the wind, for a LONG time (complete abuse and neglect.. and a LIE) just to spite her.... when what really happened is I took her out of the car seat, lifted her up, smiled and brought her down to my face to kiss her, then put her in her stroller. She is nearly 15 lbs.. holding her up for a long time??? Oh.. MY... gosh She then goes on to tell me that I didn't even have my daughter's jacket zipped when we came in the house.. ANOTHER LIE. I had to unzip the jacket to show her the shirt that she had on. It said, I'll always be daddy's little girl.. I thought she would think it was cute. If it was already unzipped, how could I unzip it to show her that??

I felt that my feelings weren't only unvalidated, they were dismissed and she did everything in her power to make me feel like crap.. well, she succeeded. I felt so verbally and emotionally attacked that I actually had to walk out of the house in order to feel that I was protecting myself from more emotional pain. One more thing to look at... this particular person never got along with her own mother, or her mother in law, or her daughters.. hmmmm.. take a look in the mirror maybe?? What is the common denominator? I have been so blind. I have been treated so badly. All that I wanted, was for her to understand how the comments make me feel, tell me she is so sorry for that, she won't do it anymore, and that she will make it better.. but no, the first thing I got was yelling and accusations.

Big Personality.. Small girl

Our 9 month old princess is growing so fast! She had her nine month check up last monday and she is still under the 1 percentile for weight and 24th for height. Because she hasn't degressed, the doctor isn't worried. He just said that she will probably just be petite.

She is a full crawler! Moving everywhere and is almost walking at this point. She stands up all on her own and walks with help. She is so determined to move!!

She is still wearing 3-6 month clothes, and some 6 months. Just out of curiosity, the other day, I put a 6-9 month pair of pants on her.. needless to say, they fell right off of her which frankly, she enjoyed! Any excuse to crawl around without the pants on!

She hates being clothed.. with a passion. She can't stand her face being touched around her nose and mouth (just like mommy). She hates the vaccuum, her toy basket, going to bed, and not being with mommy right now.

Her loves?? Mommy.. it's all about mommy right now and honestly, I'm not going to complain much. Mommy has to put her to bed, mommy has to be in the room, mommy isn't allowed to do anything without Makayla being there, but that's ok with me. I wrote this for her about a month ago:

Will She?

I lie awake wondering, "Am I a good mother?"

I think of my worries, and wonders and druthers.

Does she love me as much as I love her?

Does she think I am loving and know this for sure?

I wake up each morning asking, "Will I succeed?"

Can I give her all things for which she has need?

As she tries to start walking will she want me to help?

Or will she dismiss me and do it herself?

I'm cleaning the house and dwell on the future,

Will I be what she needs to teach and to nurture?

On her first day of school will she hold my hand tightly?

Or will she run to her class smiling back at me brightly?

I start to cook dinner and my mind wanders father,

Overcoming my weaknesses gets harder and harder.

When she finds her first love will she still want my kisses?

Or will she keep to herself her desires and wishes?

It's time once again to put her to sleep,

And then the thought comes, "She's not YOURS to keep.

She'll one day find love and then she will marry,

Our memories are treasures I forever will carry.

I realize so slowly as time passes me by,

My future's ahead whether I laugh or I cry.

I have just one wish for my future on earth,

That my daughter will need me and love me from birth.

Christmas

Our little Makayla Rae is growing so fast. She is now 7 1/2 months old and is sitting very well on her own and trying to move while on her hands and knees but still no progress. She's such a big girl in so many ways and gets so excited and proud of herself when she learns something new. She laughs constantly, almost as if she thinks that everything she sees is funny. If I could describe her in one word it would be love. She loves EVERYONE. She smiles, and lights up a room when she's there. Our little angel I know is straight from Heaven and we thank our heavenly father for her daily. She has taught me so much in the time that she has been on this earth than I have learned in my lifetime. I have learned more about patience in the past 7 months then I thought was possible. She has so much patience with me as a mother. The way she looks into my eyes melts me every time. I couldn't live without the love of my little girl. She is innocent, pure, and perfect.

We had our first christmas with Kayla this year and eventhough she had more fun trying to eat the wrapping paper, it was the best time watching her try and figure it out. She got some great developmental toys and some clothes from Grandma and Grandpa Moultrie that she looks so beautiful in! Then again, I think she looks beautiful in anything.

She loves her laptop, eventhough she still wants to play with daddy's! Funny Girl!